Tuesday, September 02, 2003

Redneck Drivers License Application

Last Name: ___________________

First Name : (check appropriate box)
___Billy –Bob
___Billy-Joe
___Billy-Ray
___Billy-Sue
___Billy-Mae
___Billy-Jack
___Other

What does everyone call you?
___Booger
___Bubba
___Buddy
___Junior
___Sissy
___Other

Age:___(If unsure, guess)

Sex:___Yes ___No

Shoe Size:___Left ___Right

Occupation:
___Farmer
___Mechanic
___Hair Dresser
___Unemployed
___Dirty Politician
___Preacher

Spouse’s Name:__________
2nd Spouse’s Name:___________
3rd Spouse’s Name:_____________
Lover’s Name:___________

:

Relationship with Spouse:
___Sister
___Brother
___Aunt
___Uncle
___Niece
___Nephew
___Cousin
___Mother
___Father
___Son
___Daughter
___Pet

Number of children living in household:___
Number of children living in shed:___
Number that are yours:___

Mother’s Name__________(If not sure, leave blank)

Father’s Name__________(If not sure, leave blank)

Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

Do you ___own or ___rent your mobile home:

Check appropriate box:
___Total number of vehicles you own
___Number of vehicles that still crank
___Number of vehicles in front yard
___Number of vehicles in back yard
___Number of vehicles on cement blocks

Firearms you own and where you keep them:
___truck
___bedroom
___bathroom
___kitchen
___bath

Model and year of your pickup:_____________ 196_

Do you have a gun rack: Yes___ No___ If no explain whyl
Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
___The National Enquirer
___The Globe
___TV Guide
___Soap Opera Digest
___Rifle and Shotgun

Number of times you’ve seen a UFO:___
Number of times you’ve seen Elvis:___
Number of times you’ve seen Elvis in a UFO___

How often do you bathe?
___Weekly
___Monthly
___Not applicable

Color of eyes:
Left___ Right___

Color of hair:
___Blond
___Black
___Red
___Brown
___White
___Clairol
___Don’t know

Color of Teeth:
___Yellow
___Brownish-Yellow
___Brown
___Black
___N/A

Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
___Red-Man

How far is your home from a paved road?
___1 mile
___2 miles
___Just a whoop and a hollar
___Road?